The Fuck-up

Algernon Blackwood

King of vices.

  • he/him
  • Vampire
  • Word Count: ~200 words in Phase 1, ~500 words in full series
  • Voice Notes: English accents preferred. Fop it up.

Character Description

The Fuck-up could have just as easily been The Fop, but his ignominy among his family is far too significant to his context to ignore. Algernon is easy and sociable. He gets along with everyone. A natural entertainer. And to his family, he is only a hair’s width above an active liability.

He has no nose for business, it seems, and a knack for getting himself in trouble, not that either of these faults seems to bother him much. It appears that he would be happy as a pig in shit to live out the rest of his days absolutely fermenting the hell out of his brain with whatever the latest drug to cross his path.

There is, unfortunately, just a little more to him than what appears. Deep down, where almost no one, least of all himself, can see, Algernon Blackwood has morals and the conviction to follow them. But Algernon Blackwood does not live in a world that can abide morals, so he has the presence of mind to bury that part and be the Fuck-up.

Audition Lines

Line 1

(kissing The Pillar on the cheek, condolences are perfunctory not sincere)

“Mwah! Mwah! Des! Ravishing as always. My deepest of condolences of course.”

(pause, The Pillar asks him if he must smoke that in the house)

“Dear dear Desdemona. I must. I must smoke this garbage in the house. In any house. In all houses. Lest I be forced to endure the world sober.”

Line 2

(has just been slammed against a wall by his throat, taunting)

“Ooh hoo. There’s the big strong brute we like to see. Do you start growling next? I love that part. You louies can make ‘going feral’ so fucking hot.”

(pause, he is threatened sufficiently to mollify)

“Safe-word! Safe-word! I’ll shut up. I’ll shut up.”

Audition Submission

Format: Start with “This is [YOUR NAME] auditioning for the part of The Fuck-up.”
File: Export as mono wav file named “[YourName] - The Fuck-up.wav”
Submit: Via the casting call form (one submission per character)